Kids Are Not Being Assholes On Purpose
Stop thinking the worst of kids and give them the benefit of the doubt
Story time
When I was a kid, I had severe insomnia. It took me hours and hours to fall asleep, despite being an active kid who was probably quite tired at bed time.
I used to get out of bed over and over again, only to be chased back up to my room, and told to “stay there!”
My little sister was the opposite. She was a great sleeper.
She was also young and gullible.
For anyone who’s suffered with insomnia, you know how lonely it can be when you feel like the only one who can’t sleep.
When going downstairs didn’t work, I started going to my little sister’s room to wake her up. I’d tell her lies like, “if you go downstairs, mom/dad will give you some candy”. (Asshole move, I know).
Keep in mind, I was also quite young.
When my parents asked “experts” for advice, they were told to just keep chasing me back to bed, and not to reward me with attention. They believed my behaviour was attention-seeking, so that’s what they did.
Over and over and over.
You’d think at some point they would have clued in that the approach wasn’t working as it didn’t change my behaviour, but I guess they didn’t know what else to try.
Manipulating my sister to go downstairs with the false promise of candy may seem like a cruel thing for a big sister to do. It may have been, but it was not done with malicious intent. I wasn’t actually a cruel person, I was a lonely kid who could not sleep.
Having my sister wake up and go downstairs, only to also be chased back to bed just as I had been, helped me feel less alone.
It may seem silly, but hey, cut me some slack. I was probably about seven years old and the adults were no help. I had to find solutions of my own, and that was what my little-kid logic came up with.
(Sorry, l’il sis).
Times have… changed?
Now this was a long time ago and some parents are very different, but many still approach behaviours the same old way.
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