To Rock Or To Roll: That Is The Question
Do we push ourselves to do things their way, or roll with our own divergent neurology?
Oftentimes, we neurodivergent (ND) folks struggle to meet neurotypical (NT — or neuronormative) expectations.
Sometimes we don’t have much choice about whether we do so, due to the potential repercussions of not conforming. Other times, we place those expectations upon ourselves, due to internalized ableism and stigma, or because we’ve become so accustomed to doing so.
Sometimes we’re pushing against this significant weight of NT expectations, making things harder for ourselves, because we’ve come to believe we must do things the NT way, not our own way.
Sometimes it’s easier (and more productive) just to roll with our neuro-differences, and our different ways of doing things, rather than fighting against them.
…but how can we tell the difference between times when it’s necessary to perform NT, and when it’s healthier to just do things our own, unique way?
A little anecdote
For example: washing the dishes.
I used to think I had to do the dishes all at once. If they started to pile up, I would feel overwhelmed, and end up doing none.
Now what I often do is get everything ready, filling the sink with soapy water. Each time I’m in the kitchen (while I’m waiting for my coffee to brew, or heating up my oatmeal in the microwave), I wash a few dishes.
Sometimes I end up washing them all… or at least, a significant portion gets done by the end of the day, so they don’t pile up.
I do most of my cleaning in a similar manner: A bit here, a bit there — even if I do it all in one day, I never stay in the same area long! I get sidetracked easily, zooming from one room to another, or one task to another.
It all gets done (eventually), so why does it matter in which order I do things? I’ve come to realize: it usually doesn’t.
When I stop fighting my natural way of doing things, I usually get more accomplished. More importantly, I tend to feel better about the whole process at the end of it.
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