A funny anecdote
My son’s very first halloween, we got him all dressed up and ready to go. We walked over to the next door neighbour’s house and rang the doorbell. I think my son remembered to say “Trick or Treat!” before proceeding to march right in to the neighbour’s front hallway!
The mechanics or social rules about Hallowe’en are so ingrained in us, we didn’t even think about explaining how the steps are supposed to go. That is how a lot of social ‘norms’ or expectations feel to neurodivergent folks. This may be especially true for Autistic kids.
One way we can make holidays like Hallowe’en a little less stressful and a lot more fun is by explaining what will happen, what we’re supposed to do, and why. The how, the what, and the why are all very important.
There are a number of ways we can make Hallowe’en more accessible for Neurodivergent (ND) kids, and (spoiler alert), none of them involve toting around a blue pumpkin.
Not the blue pumpkins again
Hallowe’en is only one week away, and every year we see posts circulating about blue pumpkins. The idea behind them is that Autistic children should use these blue pumpkins so everyone knows they’re Autistic and might need a little “extra” understanding.
While well-intentioned, the idea that a child should have to display their personal information or diagnosis for everyone to see in order to be included in an activity meant for kids is distasteful (to put it mildly).
“Be kind, be patient”, these posters plead. Shouldn’t that be the general message for everyone, and shouldn’t we treat all children coming to our door with patience and kindness regardless?
Kindness should be the default.
Maybe one kid is scared. Maybe another had a bad experience last year and are feeling anxious. Maybe anything. A child shouldn’t need to carry a blue pumpkin to signify “please understand if I don’t behave according to your expectations”.
Kindness should be the default, rather than being considered some form of special treatment. This is Hallowe’en, not a vaccination or written exam. The kids are supposed to be having fun. That’s the whole point.
Tips for actual inclusion
If folks genuinely wish to make Hallowe’en more Neurodivergent-friendly, here are some suggestions:
Consider having a lower-sensory and/or non-scary option for approaching the house (a way to avoid any flashing lights, loud music, scary decorations, etc.).
Don’t assume a lack of costume means a lack of effort. Some families may go to great lengths to find or create costumes that meet their children’s needs, but due to sensory sensitivities (or other reasons), the costume may gradually (or suddenly!) be abandoned.
Please don’t expect children to “perform” for the their treat. Some children do not speak, or some are unable to when anxious or when they feel under pressure.
Avoid making assumptions or talking down to children. Each person’s experience will be different, and there’s no way to adapt to the needs of every trick-or-treater, especially when you may not know most of them.
Some children may struggle with fine motor skills, consider handing them the treats, or placing them in their bags, rather than having kids take the candy for themselves.
Consider having non-food items available for children with allergies or other dietary restrictions.
Remember that not all disabilities are visible, give children the benefit of the doubt, they’re out to have fun just like everyone else.
Some kids look big for their age, don’t worry about how old kids are, just let them have fun.
Social rules that seem obvious to some may not be obvious to others. Please don’t assume a child is being rude on purpose, they may not understand what is expected of them if they haven’t been explicitly told.
This one isn’t ND-specific, but to make your home accessible, consider setting up your trick-or-treating in your garage or in front of your porch steps so children using walkers or wheelchairs can trick-or-treat independently.
© Jillian Enright, Neurodiversity MB
Do you have any tips or suggestions to add to make Hallowe’en more Neurodiversity-inclusive?
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Blue pumpkins? Seriously?
Don't these people know the history of Halloween? That it is the one night of the year when the shunned and abhorred creatures of the night are allowed to roam unmolested? That bunch doesn't care about whether you're neurodiverse or neurotypical- you're just a victim. And holding a blue pumpkin will make you more of a victim since it's such a bright color.
I kid, of course, but I dislike the dour and overzealous among us trying to remove the fun from what is supposed to be fun. They're only young once...