The ‘Real World’ Doesn’t Exist
This place adults keep telling children they need to prepare for is fictional
“They’ll need these skills out in the real world,” they say, usually when trying to coerce a kid into doing something they don’t want to do.
Really? The skill of letting people strong-arm you?
The skill of doing what you’re told without question, regardless of whether it feels right?
The skill of having someone looking over your shoulder, micro-managing you throughout your day?
What bizarro world do these people live in?
“In the real world our actions have consequences,” they say.
Yes.
Abuse has consequences.
Trauma has consequences.
Disability has consequences.
Mistreatment and neglect have consequences.
When children act out because their needs are not being met, because they have experienced trauma, or because their nervous systems are dysregulated, who should endure those consequences?
Apparently children, despite the fact they have no say in most of what leads them there. They have no control over the homes and neighbourhoods they grow up in, the schools they attend, being disabled, or the bullying and mistreatment they may experience.
Our biology, neurology, genetics, environment, and experiences all shape who we are.
We force children into situations before they’re ready, without proper guidance or support, then punish them when they don’t meet our expectations, even though we set them up to fail.
“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”
— Albert Einstein
Why the hell do we keep doing this?
We force kids to attend school for 6 hours per day. We force them to sit in their seats, raise their hand to speak, and ask permission to use the bathroom. They’re not allowed to dance or play while the teacher is talking. They have to complete their worksheets, otherwise they might be kept in for recess.
At home, they better eat the food in front of them because their kitchen is not a restaurant, and they’d better appreciate what they have because plenty of others have it much worse.
They better watch their language and keep themselves in line, otherwise they’ll end up grounded or in detention.
We expect obedience and respect because we’re The Adults and they’re The Children. If they won’t comply, there will be Trouble.
We don’t care about their backstory.
If you talk back to the teacher, you better believe you’re getting sent to the principal’s office, even if you were just repeating something you heard one parent say to the other last night.
We don’t care about why the behaviour is happening.
If you hit another student at recess, you’re sure as hell getting suspended, even if that kid has been relentlessly bullying you for months. All the adults knew, but nobody did anything to help you, and now you’re in trouble because you had to take matters into your own hands.
The real world is tough, so suck it up. It’s best to learn these lessons now when you’re young, so you don’t continue acting like this when you’re an adult.
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