Stop Micro-Managing Students & Employees
We need to stop trying to dictate how children, students, and employees regulate themselves
Why do we care?
Classrooms, offices, job interviews, even online lectures — it seems everywhere you turn, someone is trying to tell you how to present yourself.
Truthfully, it’s getting a little ridiculous.
During the months and years of online learning, I heard complaints from plenty of parents about teachers insisting students have their cameras on during class, so they can be sure they are paying attention.
I appreciate that teachers want to support their students to learn the material, but with all due respect, some people need to pick their battles.
I’ve heard from some students who actually preferred online learning because they could turn off their camera. Some felt less pressure and self-consciousness, or less visual over-stimulation, and found they could focus better on the class.
Many felt free to fidget, stim, move, sit in awkward positions — do whatever their body needed to — without distracting others, or being told to “sit properly”.
Now most elementary-aged students are back to in-person learning, and the micro-managing of their bodies ramps up.
What’s with this obsession over sitting nicely or properly?
Some classrooms incorporate behaviour management programs which give students points for things like sitting “nicely” in class.
What exactly does “sitting nicely” mean anyway, and why do we care so much? I mean, I’m nearly 40 years old, have been a successful entrepreneur for 12 years, have two degrees, and I’ve never sat “properly” or “nicely” a day in my life.
I often work while sitting outside, at my kitchen table with my feet tucked under me, or with my legs stretched out on my couch. I sit with my legs crossed in our home office chair, rather than putting my feet on the floor.
My feet frequently go numb because I’ve been sitting on them, but sitting in the usual way does not work for me, I find it highly uncomfortable.
This brings me to my next concern: An ableist and controlling concept taught in many classrooms called “whole body listening”.
Whole body listening is something taught to educators and school staff as part of our Inclusive Education framework, and is most decidedly not inclusive.
It (unfortunately) looks like this:
I’ll explain why these, and other similar classroom expectations, are ableist, controlling, and not inclusive.
Eyes are on the speaker
Not if you want those of us who are uncomfortable with prolonged eye-contact to actually hear and comprehend anything the speaker is saying.
Many neurodivergent people may look around while listening and can listen with their ears. Forcing eye contact is disrespectful and controlling.
Calm feet & hands in lap
Seriously, we need to micro-manage how someone has their hands and feet now too? I do stimminy-cricket feet, where I stim by rubbing my feet together.
It’s relaxing. I can still work, read, write, pay attention, and learn, even if my feet are wiggling, so mind your business.
Quiet hands/hands are still
If I had to focus on keeping my hands still, I wouldn’t hear a thing because it would use up all of my mental energy not to fidget.
Stimmy hands, fidgeting, doodling, etc. are all valid ways for a person to self-regulate and maintain their focus.
Like I said, as long as students are being safe and not disrupting others, mind your business.
Criss cross applesauce
I only sit criss-cross applesauce when it is entirely awkward for me to do so, like in our swivelling office chair. If I were sitting on the floor there is no way I could sit criss-cross applesauce.
We don’t have the right to control other people’s bodies and they can sit however they please, provided they aren’t harming anyone.
Listening ears
Not everyone’s ears can listen. Not surprisingly, they didn’t consider the needs of Deaf and Hard of Hearing students when they made those ableist “whole body listening” posters. That’s certainly not very inclusive.
Bodily autonomy
It’s important we help children develop self-awareness, so they learn about themselves and can self-advocate and do what works best for them.
Our job is to teach and allow children to make decisions about their own bodies, not try to control their bodies — that sends entirely the wrong message.
Here’s a better one:
Controlled kids grow up to become controlling adults
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