Punishments Do Not Teach Skills
Okay, maybe one: They teach people how to be better at avoiding punishment.
“The concept of misbehaviour is fundamentally tied to those of volition, choice, and awareness.” —(Siegel & Bryson, 2020)
“Too often, caregivers, teachers, providers, and parents assume that a child is acting deliberately, when in fact a behaviour is actually a stress response.”—(Delahooke, 2019)
“A child who seems to be misbehaving is, in the process, adapting and surviving.” —(Delahooke, 2019)
“When we are ignored as human beings, it decreases our emotional links to other people, who should be our life rafts when we are suffering.” —(Delahooke, 2019)
“Emotional co-regulation comes first, and this is how emotional self-regulation is developed.” —(Delahooke, 2019)
“Walk beside them through their pain, helping them see they are strong enough to handle a difficult situation and come out okay.” — (Siegel & Bryson, 2020).
“It’s not easy to help a child feel safe, seen, soothed, and secure when we ourselves feel out of control emotionally." —(Siegel & Bryson, 2020).
Dysregulation is often caused by factors that are outside of the child’s control.
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