Written by Jillian Enright, CYW, BA Psych.
Bear with me. Before you read the title and dismiss the premise, I am not advocating for a permissive style of parenting, and I am not suggesting that children shouldn’t have boundaries.
The difference is that boundaries and discipline are about teaching, whereas punishment is about retribution.
“Discipline is helping a child solve a problem. Punishment is making a child suffer for having a problem. To raise problem solvers, focus on solutions, not retribution.” —L.R. Knost
“Shame is the most disabling learning disability.”—(Hallowell & Ratey, 2021)
“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.”—James A. Baldwin
“Rewards work much better for the ADHD mind than do consequences.”—(Hallowell & Ratey, 2021)
“Punishment teaches children how to avoid punishment; it does not teach children anything about the nature of an appropriate relationship. Guidance is in relationships is required to form new knowledge of how to behave properly.”—(Luvmour, 2017, p. 12)
Give children the dignity of being treated like the competent human beings that they are.
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