How Emotional Regulation is Like Bike Riding
Skills need to be taught and supported, they don’t come pre-programmed
It’s like riding a bike
Think of teaching regulation skills like teaching children to ride a bicycle. We don’t just put a kid on a bike and expect them to figure it out for themselves.
First, we might teach them how to balance and explain the mechanics of keeping the bike upright. Next, we might hold on to the back of the bike as they practice pedalling and work on finding their balance.
After lots of practice with a lot of adult support and coaching (and possibly many falls, scrapes, and bruises), involving lots of patience, help, and encouragement with a trusted adult right by their side…
They gain increasingly more skill and confidence, and eventually are proudly zipping around without fear.
Regulation isn’t inborn
We aren’t born with the ability to regulate ourselves. Newborn babies are completely reliant on a loving caregiver to meet all of their needs, including their need to feel safe and cared for.
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