Helping Kids Prepare for Back to School
Tips for making the transition easier, especially for kids who struggle
Embrace Ambivalence
It’s okay for our children to not be excited about going back to school. A lot of advice suggests talking it up, talking about how wonderful school will be.
Yeah, don’t do that.
There’s nothing wrong with mentioning some of the positives, things you genuinely know your child will enjoy about school, but be honest with them. For one thing, most kids don’t enjoy everything about school, and some kids hate a lot of things about it.
Talking about back-to-school as though it were the best thing ever might put undue pressure on your child, making them feel as though they should be happy about going back, and there’s something wrong with feeling anxious about it.
There’s not. All feelings are valid.
For kids who really have a horrible time at school, telling them this will be the best time of their lives is a dangerous message to send. I was relentlessly bullied every day of elementary school from start to finish. High school was better socially, but still really awful.
Telling someone like me those are the best days of our lives is a horrifying thought.
Life beyond the school walls
I’m nearly 40, and my life has only gotten better since leaving public education. I’m Autistic and ADHD. I did not make friends or fit in. I was not well-liked. The traditional education system — and its neuronormative expectations — does not work for most neurodivergent students.
Neurodivergent and disabled children are the most frequent victims of bullying. Whereas approximately 25% of non-disabled and neurotypical youth experience bullying, children with disabilities are twice as likely to be victimized.
It’s estimated that 60% of Autistic children and 40% of children with ADHD experience bullying in school. Even worse, we’re often blamed for our own victimization. We’re given the message — either directly or indirectly — that we “bring it on ourselves” by being different.
I want students (especially kids like me), to know if this is not the time of their lives, that’s okay. There is a lot of life after school, and there are many places where people like us can find our cohorts and discover a community where we do fit in.
Even better, we can find spaces where it doesn’t matter whether or not we “fit in”, we’re accepted — even appreciated — for being oddballs. We’re not expected to conform to anything, all that is expected of us is to be our authentic selves.
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