Feelings are neither rational nor logical
One can neither punish nor reward an emotion, and it is especially harmful to attempt to do so with sensory sensitivities and trauma.
The definition of a punishment is something which decreases or stops a behaviour.
The definition of a reinforcer is something which increases the likelihood of a behaviour recurring or continuing.
Emotions cannot be perpetuated, changed, nor stopped through the use of punishments or rewards.
When someone is sad and we comfort them, we are not rewarding their sadness, nor encouraging them to continue being sad. Instead, we are co-regulating by providing connection and a calm, caring presence.
If someone is afraid and we reassure them, we are helping them feel safe, not reinforcing their fear. If someone is dysregulated, we provide support and co-regulation.
There are still some clinicians out there who advise people to “ignore” any unwanted behaviour from people in our care, especially children —the theory being we do not want to reinforce the behaviour by paying attention to it.
One of the primary purposes of behaviour is to communicate to others.
One of the primary purposes of behaviour is to communicate to others.
It gets worse
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